HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! Congratulations, you made it through another year!

Two Thousand And Eighteen. I’m still walking around with my head in the seventies. I suppose everything about me is outdated. There are so many things that we learn as we get older, things that we hit head on, without any warning. While we are completely unprepared, it doesnt have to be that way. I think that someone should write a book or an instruction manual, or offer classes on how to navigate in a world that changes faster than we do.

I had a lot of success with my resolutions from last year and I think most of my success came from having the foresight to keep expectations lower than most of you guys. I was able to address my weight problems by simply going up a pants size and a shirt size, and admitting that I’ll never look good in spandex again. Did he just say again?

Time is becoming more precious to me now. One of my biggest fears was wondering how I would fill my time after retirement but when I look back over this past year, I completed less than half the things that I wanted to. My head may be in the seventies but my body is quite a bit older… I’m slowing down a little.

So, this is the year that I will turn sixty- two. How will I navigate through this brand new year, and what do I need to improve on personally? Where do I want to be in a year?

My New Years Resolution.

1. Leave a larger carbon footprint. I’m going to water the lawn more, burn more gas, and drink more water out of plastic bottles. I’m going to leave the lights on, make it cooler in the summer, warmer in the winter and warm my car up before I drive to town. Why? Because I hate the environment and I plan on bringing it to its knees. Remember, you can’t take carbon credits with you when you go.
2. Avoid all self checkouts. I’ve said it before, but here it is again. We already bag our own groceries, take them out to our car, and return the carts to their pick up. All that’s left is to check ourselves out and stock the shelves and we will be an employee without a paycheck. You would not believe how many friends I make in line at the store now that the lines are long enough to exchange personal information.
3. Go on a cruise. I plan on walking around holding a glass with a little umbrella in it the whole time I’m on the ship. They tell me that it’s unlimited buffet too so I won’t be needing a swimsuit.
4. I’m going to finally find out who will sit on the Iron Throne. This bloody death match has gone on for seven seasons, sixty-seven episodes. They have killed off almost everyone connected to Game Of Thrones except a few of the characters I have grown to love, a few I hate, and the director. If this thing don’t turn out right, I may lock myself in the bedroom for awhile. For sure I will yell profanities at the TV. Now I’m hearing we might have to wait until  2019… Are you *****ING me?
5. Find something to replace the NFL. I suppose that I’m just not very forgiving when it comes to my entertainment choices, but I sure do miss my team. I burned everything in a private ceremony anyway. I still got hockey. I love to watch the Zamboni. Zamboni, try working that into a conversation without talking about hockey or ice skating.
6. Win the lottery. If I can pull this off, I’m taking three of my closest friends with me.
7. Get three friends. I’m taking applications but don’t waste my time by showing up empty handed. Dilly Dilly.
8. Have the best year that I’ve ever had. See more, do more, love more, forgive more, ride more, and just be happy! This is the one resolution that I really want to keep, and I hope we can all do this again next year.

ws