• They get to listen to the greatest music of the 70’s all at once. I had to wait. Month after month, year after year for ten years, and listen to dozens of very bad songs just to get to hear that wonderful masterpiece that todays youth can just ask Siri to play over and over. For every Midnight Train to Georgia or Stairway to Heaven, there were dozens of songs like Honeycomb or Elvira.
  • They don’t spend so much time in the bathroom waiting to pee that you just go ahead and sit down…. And wake up and look at your watch just to see how long you were out. And that one time you woke up on the floor….
  • There’s plenty of room for candles on their cake when birthdays roll around. Have you ever tried to put 66 candles on a cake for somebody? And forget about lighting them because by the time you get to the end the first ones have melted away.

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