Half my age if I round up would be thirty-three. Thirty-three year old Wayne would be living in 1989. The phone company had just call, me back from a very long layoff  seven months ago.

1989 Wayne was highly flawed, but that guy would work you into the ground and keep right on working. There are no rewards for that. I wish I knew that back then. I wish I knew a lot of things back then that I know now. Honestly, I wish I could spend some quality time with the guy I was. I would pick his brain and offer advice. Hug your kids more, because the day is coming when you will have the time, but the opportunity will be gone. Life is an exhausting blur right now but time is moving much faster than you realize. You know, sage shit, that would go right over 89’s head. I miss that guy sometimes. He had all the answers. 89 knew that mom and dad were getting old, and wouldn’t be around much longer, but today Wayne is quite a bit older than that right now. And dad died about a year ago at age 90. Mom’s going to be 90 on her birthday in a few months, God willing. I would tell 89 to relax and smell the roses. I would not listen, but I would tell me just the same. I believe that I would just put my arms around me and give me a big long hug. I would tell me that it’s alright to come up short sometimes and life won’t be good someday, it’s pretty damn awesome right now. 89 knew that if Republicans were in control life would be good, but I know that politicians offer nothing but rhetoric. 89 has no idea that in the next thirty-three years he will see women using  the same bathroom he is in, or that men pretending to be women will be allowed to compete against women in sports, and use their superior athletic abilities to dominate, or that men pretending to be women, will win women of the year awards. I’m not going to tell him. All these abominations will be considered normal and to say otherwise will be viewed as hate. There are so many things I could prepare him for, but our Creator chose to keep our future hidden from us, and I’m certain that is for the best.

One thing I would hope to be able to tell me is to bury the bitterness in a hole and leave it unmarked. Mainly though, I think 89 needs a long honest hug, and to know everything is going to turn out ok.

ws