1. You wash your hands after doing your business and realize you got more business.
  2. You just can’t trust your farts like you once could.
  3. You buy a new pair of shoes and are just too attached to the box to let it go.
  4. You decide to get organized and realize you have 18 assorted nail clippers.
  5. Comment to the lady checking you out how much you love the music their store plays and later discover that you’ve been walking around with your phone in your pocket playing your favorite playlist.
  6. Make a mental note to never go back through that person’s line again.
  7. You come to the realization that life is both very very long, and very very short.
  8. I never minded talking to myself, but lately these conversations have escalated into bitter arguments and name calling.

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