1492…

Everybody my age know’s what happened. Everybody my age. Christopher Columbus discovered America. He also discovered a bunch of people already living here. Now 530 years or so later everybody hates this guy who all the scientists and scholars said was fixing to sail right off the edge of the earth. Right off the edge. Settled science. If there had been Facebook back then every **cking time Chris posted something about the world being round fact checkers would be flagging his post and if he kept it up he would end up in Facebook jail or banned for life.

Here’s where I need to explain things a bit…. let’s say there’s a bitchen pizza place, and it’s been a hidden gem for years. Let’s say Ol’ Bluemoonwayne is out cruising around and stumbles on to this pizza paradise. I go back home and tell everybody. ” Hey, I discovered this incredible pizza place.”

Ok. Everybody know he didn’t invent the Bahamas. He discovered the Bahamas. I would also like to point out that he also discovered that you wouldn’t fall off the edge of the world.

Columbus 1

Science 0

So the way I see it, and considering all the snowflake butthurt holidays that will surely be cast upon us, Christopher Columbus deserves a day that he don’t have to share with a people who pretty much still live in grass huts.

ws