My first born turned thirty- eight over the weekend, and being the night owl that I am, I wished her a happy birthday at midnight. She was up and asked me how it felt to have been a father for thirty- eight years. I had never looked at it that way, until that moment.

In some ways, becoming a parent seems so long ago that I can’t even recall life before, and sometimes I can still remember many details vividly. Odd details that should be lost forever, but they aren’t, and I wonder at times what precious memories have been cast aside to make room for something like spending time under a towel with your child, with the vaporizer running, and praying it helps the horrible cold and congestion. But then, to me,these memories are precious. The horrible hacking cough, and worry. The getting up through the night and making sure they are still breathing. Being a parent changes you little by little. You end up walking away from what you were before, and slowly become someone different. Responsibility will become a weight you will carry, but I think that this responsibility made me a better person, over time. As a parent I’ve had many failures, and made many mistakes, but I honestly tried as hard as I knew how at that particular moment in time. Looking back, I would have done a great many things differently, if given the chance, but wisdom is earned over time, at an expense one just has to learn to live with. And I have. And I have never been one to dwell on the past, so I firmly believe that all of my best days as a parent are ahead of me. I sure hope that is the case, but regardless, I wouldn’t take anything this world offers, that would have deprived me the opportunity of being a daddy, and then dad, and then big daddy, for the rest of my life.

ws