I’ve never had this kind of power before. I don’t abuse this power either, because I remember from my favorite Marvel character, Iron Man, that with great power comes great responsibility. So I only wear this special hat when I want my car keyed. You know what? It wasn’t Iron Man, Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben said that. Good old Uncle Ben would have probably worn a red hat too. I bet he would have had something clever to say to these mindless zombies who rarely make it more than three sentences past talking points they have heard on CNN, or some other outlet that frowns on independent thought. I’ve had some pretty clever things to say also by the way, and we will just leave it at that.

 Honestly, I think it very odd that something so frightening would generate so much anger and violence. I’m afraid of bears, and it would never occur to me to run up to a bear and stick a key in his belly, no matter what it was wearing. I’ve pretty much felt that way ever since I saw that horrible bear attack in Revenant. Leonardo, I think, had it coming, but it was still kind of hard to watch. Maybe Red hat wearers need a movie like that. Don’t act like the blue hats haven’t already made a movie killing red hats… They said they won’t release it, but I’m going all in that they will. Nobody makes a movie to sit on a shelf somewhere. If they do release it, and you are liberal, be sure to invite some of your Conservative friends over to watch it with you. Should be fun.

When I compare the violence of the red hats to the violence of the blue hats, I’m the one who should be frightened, but I’m not, and I really don’t know why. With the campaign season upon us again, I wonder if everyone will be too afraid to put bumper stickers on their cars this election cycle. I’m going to get me a new hat, with a new slogan, and it’s going to back the same guy I backed last time. And I’m going to get that bumper sticker. If that bothers anybody, I hope they grow up someday. I will always remember what my favorite Marvel character’s acquaintance from the other side of town’s uncle said though,,,

Plus, my truck needs a new paint job.

ws